GIFTS: Anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

So, it's your significant other's bday, graduation, your anniversary, etc. What do you get them?

Something personalized is always nice, especially if it's made by hand - or made by you! Try making your own card. If you're not so creative, try engraving something, getting something embroidered, etc. Think of the person and what they like, what their hobbies are, and maybe buy something that's personal to them like that.

Depending on the length of your relationship and financial standings, price ranges can vary so spend what you feel comfortable with.

Getting something is always better than not, but check out these funny bad gifts - they're all REAL bad gifts given to people!

http://badgiftemporium.com/



~Sophia Sparx

How to tell if they like you:

Figuring this out can be challenging so here are some tips to tell if your crush likes you back:

- They smile / laugh a lot around you – you make them happy and they just can’t contain themselves
- They point their body towards you, leaning inwards in conversations – this sign shows they’re interested
- They ask lots of questions about you – this shows an obvious sign of interest in your personality, interests, lifestyle, etc.
- They find reasons to be near you or hang out with you
- They introduce you to their friends – meaning they want to hang out more and make sure you’re compatible with their friends. If anything, they want to show you off to their friends.
- They make deep and lasting eye contact – awww how cute is it when they get lost in your eyes. They like you!!!

Anything I’m missing?



~Sophia Sparx

The Art of Picking Up

I just read this article on the art of picking up and thought I'd share and see your comments.

They ran an experiment with "attraction coaches" to see if their techniques worked? sooo did they?

Surprisingly, YES. Or maybe not so surprisingly. There were a couple of things they all were successful at. They even taught an average joe guy how to be a chick magnet within a few hours. Here are some of their tips:

- Be unapologetic for your desire as a man. Women like masculine men who have presence and to know who they are.

- Be well groomed and pay attention to the details. This also helps you gain some confidence which girls love.

- Your personality is the most powerful asset in creating attraction. Don't focus on what car you drive of job you have as they're not show stoppers as much as your sense of humour or caring nature.

- Give her sincere compliments on something other than her looks. She's probably used to getting that so tell her something unexpected.

- Focus on conversation on emotional topics, staying away from discussing facts. Facts can kill the mood where as emotional topics can lead to flirting and fun.

- Use humor and misinterpret everything she says as her hitting on you. Turning the tables on the girl confuses her and she is challenged.

- Learn to be physically playful. This beats the "friends" barrier and helps you flirt easier.

- Know when to take charge and constantly lead her - this is really masculine.

- Its NOT ok to be sexually needy, buts its ok to be sexual.

- Be confident in yourself and work to make yourself better. A girl loves a guy with drive and ambition as well as self worth. After all, if you don't love yourself, how can she?

Enjoy! Any more to share?


~Sophia Sparx

Are they Cheating? Here's how to tell.

Cheaters can have several tell-tale signs.

1. Deviation from the norm / schedule (working late eh?)
2. More cell phone calls and reluctance to answer around you (what are they hiding?)
3. Secret / questionable content on their computer. Are they closing screens when you enter or always deleting history?
4. Change in appearance for no reason (all of a sudden, they're doing their hair to go to the mall or dressing up to go grocery shopping)
5. Decrease in sexual appetite - where else are they getting some?
6. They get defensive when you ask questions, even if they're innocent (the guilt gets to them)
7. The passenger seat on the car has changed even though they claim they haven't driven with anyone.
8. Money troubles - do they have less money to go out? Maybe they're spending it going out with someone else.
9. They stop wearing their ring or anything you gave them.

Ofcourse, all of this should be taken with a pinch of salt - nothing works better than sitting down and talking about your concerns.

Good luck to you all and I hope you never have to deal with a cheater!



~Sophia Sparx

How to Write a sexy Email

1. Warm up your message. Start and end messages by making a personal connection. "Dear soandso..." and sign off with a bit of a flirtation... "Thinking of you" or "Passionately Yours..."

2. Try text tips
It can be hard to express your thoughts and feelings in writing - so take from the writing experts, quotes, or check out some romantic websites like:

TheRomantic.com
InspirationPoint.com
St. Valentine's Love poems
Daily Love Poems

3. Sending romantic e-cards are also great all year round.

4. Crank up the heat
Increase anticipation with a few provocative suggestions. While you may not want to give all the hot details in e-mail, the mere mention of an event or an article of clothing can do the job.

5. Emoticons can be flirty so use them wisely ;)

6. Watch the email address you're sending to and respect that person's email - E-mail sent to company e-mail addresses may be monitored. So be discreet or stick with a personal e-mail account whenever you can.

Happy Emailing :)



~Sophia Sparx

Can you be friends with your ex?

The big debate: The Ex. I've heard so many viewpoints on this I thought I'd share my own. Being tight with your ex can cause so many problems, it's best to keep this relationship to an acquaintance at best. You once had a strong connection - can you really move on if you still see the person all the time? Will your new gf/bf be accepting of this or be put in an awkward position? This constant reminder of the past can be quite threatening to a new partner.

Sure it’s the mature thing to be able to communicate civily, send birthday notes or inquire about their family. Sending valentines thoughts, visiting all the time, and hanging out how you used to are not acceptable. In my experience, one half of the ex-couple still has feelings for the other. They then believe that staying friends can create a chance to re-kindle that romance. These expectations should NOT be set up – you break up for a reason, unless it’s a mistake or misunderstanding and in that case, rules don’t apply. Let GO of your ex and move on! You never know what great stuff is out there!



~Sophia Sparx

The Chase – Do men really love it?

Ok , we’re all mature here, why play games? Well maybe because we all like them. They’re fun and keep us engaged and can be part of our biological make-up with respect to dating.

Most powerful women seem to approach their love life like their careers – going after what they want with whatever they can, making the first move and persisting, and pitching themselves like a product being sold to a client. This strategy works in the workplace, not in the dating world. I’ve found that the more effort the female makes, the less effort the man makes, especially at the start of a relationship. Why is this?

Biology – men are wired to be ‘hunters’, ‘aggressors’, and ‘competitors’. With this in mind, they seek challenges which they wish to win, making them the perfect pursuers. At the start of relationships, men try hard to prove themselves (ego?), but if the woman steps in to be the pursuer they become satisfied with having conquered her and relax. This results in men being turned off, they’re momentarily flattered and then lose interest very quickly, or they stop to try (which turns women off as well).

To end off, why do men like women who play hard to get? These women seem like a greater challenge and so men feel like they’ve accomplished more (hence a more worthy pursuit).

True? False? Let’s hear it!



~Sophia Sparx

One Night Stands

Controversial topic here - what do you think of one night stands? Are there certain rules to be followed?

Even when extremely intoxicated, I think it's always a good idea to make sure it's something you both are on the same page about.

- No, you're not bf/gf and therefore this doesn't mean they have to call you back or you have to do anything either
- Make sure it's something you both want to do! Confirming your partner wants to go through with it is a must
- No open mouth / French kissing... That's generally reserved for intimate moments with someone special - but this rule is optional (some people go by it, some don't so it's up to you)
- Anything kinky? Clear it with your partner first
- Don't do it where you can get caught by people who know you. Unless this is a thrill you're seeking, this can create akward moments later.

Have you had a one night stand? How did it turn out? Share it here!

~Sophia Sparx

Eating at a restaurant

So I went out for dinner yesterday and realized – WOW! There’s so much some people can learn about eating out with a date! Here’s some commentary I came up with after last night:

• When you first sit down, remove the napkin and put it on your lap – it can block the view between yourself and your date
• Make sure ladies order first unless they ask you to, so that they have more time to chose – it’s the gentlemanly thing to do
• Be nice to the waitstaff as your date may see your rudeness as potential behavior towards them
• Don’t start your food until everyone at the table has their food – this isn’t so much for dating but it’s the polite thing to do! That poor hungry person through no fault of their own shouldn’t suffer more because their food is late
• Chew slowly, with your mouth closed, and don’t make eating noises such as slurping or smacking your lips – this is just common sense but you’d be surprised how many people were doing this. Also, don’t talk while you chew – self explanatory
• No cell phones are the table unless you’re a doctor of some sorts or you need it for work –though even then, make your date the center of your attention.
• Booths: What side to sit on? Sit across your date
• Even when on diets, try to enjoy yourself and what you’re eating so the other person doesn’t feel left out or like they’re being a pig
• Offer bread to your date first before taking one yourself
• When going to the bathroom, just say excuse me – there’s no need to mention what you’re doing in there!
• Never reach to take a bit of someone’s food without being invited – that also means don’t ask!
• Ask for things to be passed to you instead of grabbing them. It can avoid some embarrassing spilling situations
• No Burping! Or Farting! EW!
Here are some good and bad first date foods:
Bad: anything with strong smells (especially garlic or onion), big sushi rolls that you can’t fit into your mouth gracefully, anything eaten with your hands like hotdogs or wings, very spicy food as you could have your stomach upset, anything too sexy haha – like popsicles, bananas, oysters, long pasta as it’s too hard to eat – like linguini or spaghetti
Good foods: deboned fish/meat, steak, sticky rice, fondue (unless you’re not a fan of sharing germs), salad, quiche, casserole, short and fat pasta, pizza (eat with cutlery)



~Sophia Sparx

Single? Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be depressing!

• Pamper yourself – with a gift or a special treat. You’re special so take the time to remind yourself!

• Go out with friends or other singles. Anti-Valentine’s parties are a lot of fun and you’re spending time with those you love anyways.

• Spend your time volunteering or babysitting. Helping people out will make you feel good and bring happiness to others, which gets shed back to you!

• Make a relationship plan – Figure out how you can improve your chances at a relationship (if you want one) you can try to have a better diet, attitude or physical appearance.

• Unless you’re in a group, avoid couple type places like restaurants, if you’re going to be alone.

• Finally, adopt a child in a third world country or a soldier and send them a Valentine’s day card  Make their day and let them love you back!



~Sophia Sparx

Valentines Day and Gift Giving.

With Valentines day just around the corner, I found it appropriate to talk a bit about gift giving. How dissapointing is it when get/give a crappy gift? How embarassing is it when you give too little or too much?

For Valentines day, if you've recently started dating (first 3 months), dinner or a small to moderately sized gift is great! If you're not sure if both of you will be on the same wavelength with regards to spending limits, it is a very good idea to discuss this in advance - it can save a lot of embarassment.

If you've been going out for a while and you have the budget, splurge a little and get that someone special something that is personal and thoughtful. Always listen to hints about what the person would like in the weeks leading up to the gift giving occassion. Finally, when your partner gives you something, make sure you positively reinforce them by thanks and praise :)

If you don't like the gift (GAG!!!)
1> Mask the shock as surprise with the gift
2> Ask questions about the gift to show interest and to recompose yourself
3> If you feel like telling the truth, be GENTLE! Phrase it as though "it's not you, it's me".
4> Still thank them - they must have put some thought and effort into this gift.

So... Happy Valentines Day to all you couples and singles out there!



~Sophia Sparx

Texting Under the Influence

This also works for Emailing under the influence...

This urge comes upon all of us! You've just gone out with your friends and you feel like texting your ex. ERASE their contact info off your phone or email or block them. Shut down your computer / phone and keep busy with something else.

Messages for booty calls can be quite embarassing when you didn't mean them.

If you recieve a drunken text, read it, save it (for future evidence, don't mention it to anyone, and pretend you never got anything unless asked directly lol... Good back up to have but it's mean to rub it in their face as it could have easily been the other way around!

Guys/Gals? Have you texted or been texted? What happened?



~Sophia Sparx

To Google or not to Google

Sorry for my absense - A little busy at work. Here are my thoughs on Googling potential dates:

1. Google, the universal tool: to Google and to be Googled. Expect to be googled so make sure you know what comes up on your name and be prepared to elaborate / explain anything that may be worthy of conversation

2. Remember, many people may have the same name so be careful before you jump to conclusions.

3. Don't mention anything you've found on Google. You'll look like a crazy stalker, even though they may have done the same.



~ Sophia Sparx

Punctuality

When it comes to dates, or really any appointments, punctuality is often taken as a sign of respect. You respect the person you're meeting, you respect their time, and you acknowledge that they have other things to do.

Same goes with dates. It's nice to show up a couple of minutes early to figure out the place and find your date if you're meeting somewhere new. Even if you're going to a familiar place, like your date's house, arriving a little early shows interest and that you care.

If you're getting late (there are some inevitable occasions where you may have an emergency to deal with), CALL! Let the person know, with as MUCH time as possible. Hopefully, they won't be stranded and waiting for you, bored.

~Sophia Sparx

The Drama King

"Drama Queen" is often a term attributed to a woman who is thought to:

a/ Crave drama
b/ Crave attention.

Women are often generalized into this category as it's often said that all women love drama.

I, however, disagree.

Some women are happy living a quiet, tranquil life. That doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy the odd pleasant surprise here and there, that just means she doesn't want to unnecessarily complicate her life.

Conversely, I've found that men love drama perhaps, just as much. Men enjoy gossip as much as women do (shh.... we won't tell or judge you), and some seek the same attention as these so called Drama Queens. Hence, I propose to you the "Drama King".

The Drama King wants to be the center of attention, whether it be with is male buddies or female acquaintances. Many people think of this male as an only child because of his need for attention, but he could also be a neglected or forgotten child (often a middle child or the "mistake" child). No matter how happy his life is, he seeks complication as he feels this makes him feel alive, important, and cared about.

Some find the Drama King's personality attractive - often, the so-called Drama Queen. So... next time you go to judge a person's "drama need", think back and think:

• Who doesn't like a little attention from time to time?


• Should you hate this person or feel sorry for them?


• Lastly, is this a gender attribute? I think not...

~Sophia Sparx

Online Dating – Not just for losers

For all of you who think online dating is for the closet nerd who sits at home on his laptop and has no time for anyone, this post’s for you. Online dating has become the norm – many couples are meeting, dating, and even getting married of relationships starting on websites. Why? Simple – time and efficiency. Who wants to spend time at a bar or “pick-up” place with the “chance” of meeting someone interested in the same things as you, when you can browse and optimize your search online. Screening becomes easy and you waste less time on potential rejects, gaining more time to search some more. With the limitless reach of the internet, you gain access to people you may have never met in your normal stream of events, opening up a whole new range of opportunities and possibilities.

For the hottest guys and gals out there, their time is precious hence why they DO participate in this online dating world. They also get approached all the time and the same goes for online so here are some tips to help you when seeking for love on the net:

1. The most important step of all is to have good pictures up on your profile. Who said attraction wasn’t important? Ask your friends for suggestions on which are your best pics and post a few. Too embarrassed about online dating (even though a lot of your friends are probably doing so)? Go to a site like “hot or not” and get some of your pictures rated. Use the ones that get the best rating of you. Offer a few pictures of yourself doing different things / in different outfits. This shows people that you’re a real person, using real pictures. Finally, don’t be too provocative in your pictures – unless of course you’re looking for a one night hook-up.

2. Your first email should be fairly short yet insightful. Make sure you read the person’s profile and indicate you have things in common with them. This shows you have taken the time to learn about them as well as puts them at ease about your connection. Humor is also appreciated and helps you stand out from the generic “you’re hot” messages.

3. “Wink”ing is for women. Take the initiative and show confidence by sending an email. If she “winks” at you and you’re interested, then go ahead and write her back.

4. Don’t be scared about asking for their phone number after chatting a few times. This will make you seem confident and your relationship will carry more connection. Don’t make the first few conversations too long – keep it light and humorous.

5. Finally, the date: Keep it in a public place, and keep the activity to a short period of time. That way, if you don’t get on, you can make a quick escape.

Good luck Guys and Gals!
~Sophia Sparx

Do women like “cocky” men?

Sure we like confidence! A man who knows his worth is attractive to almost every woman. However, he crosses a line when he becomes arrogant. I’ve heard many men tell me that I want a man who knows what he wants, goes after it, and gets it. These same men tell me that this means that I want a “cocky” guy. Men – there is a difference between confidence and arrogance that means the difference between being seen as “masculine” and being seen as an “asshole”.

Let’s take a look at Mr. Confident and Mr. Arrogant:Mr. Confident understands that though he is good at something, there may be someone who is better. Therefore, he is constantly working to improve himself. Along the same lines, Mr. Confident is willing to recognize his mistakes. Conversely, Mr. Arrogant thinks that he is the best at something and therefore needs no improvement, never admitting a mistake. Mr. Confident displays secure behavior, never caring what others think, versus Mr. Arrogant who vies for attention and seems insecure - unattractive. Mr. Arrogant revels in the mistakes of others and seems heartless to women. Mr. Confident helps others correct their mistakes, seeming kind and compassionate to women.

Women actually find humility attractive. This doesn’t mean that women want a man who is meek and weak. We just want a guy who is human, who knows and accepts his flaws, and tries to better himself.

~Sophia Sparx







READERS:
Women: What do you think of confident men? Cocky men?
Men: What do you think women want? Am I completely off base?

Successful Women

“I think men are afraid to be with a successful woman, because we are terribly strong, we know what we want and we are not fragile enough.” - Shirley Bassey

This quote brings us to the debate of today: Are men afraid of successful, powerful women? Does the typical man quiver at the thought of reversing the stereotypical relationship in which he stays at home and his woman is the "bread winner"?

I'm not in favour of grouping all men and women together in any situation but there are some things that they all share in common - a common biological structure and a common society.

The innate argument:Competition
Males are naturally competitive as vividly depicted in their love of sports. Winning is vital to them and therefore, they see a successful woman as a threat. Women, in turn, are more social beings. When a man comes to accept a successful woman as a team-mate instead of an adversary, he will be able to leverage her strengths and grow himself.

The societal argument:
Society has not fully accepted the idea of the successful woman. Even though there are many successful women and many happy men behind them, society seems to see women leaders as pushy, overly agressive, power-hungry and manly when performing the same leadership tasks as men. (Check out this article: "The Myth of the Iron Lady")

~Sophia Sparx







READERS:

Guys? Agree? Disagree? Tell us what you think!
Girls? Do you have any experiences to share on this?

What about the reverse situation - what do you think about highly successful men? Are women more attracted to them?

Welcome!

Hi everyone and welcome!

I hope that you will enjoy my thoughts and debates on the world of dating and love, how women and men differ, and tips and tricks for my guys and gals!

And, I'm always open to hearing your thoughts so please share!

~Sophia Sparx