Monday, January 28, 2008


When it comes to dates, or really any appointments, punctuality is often taken as a sign of respect. You respect the person you're meeting, you respect their time, and you acknowledge that they have other things to do.

Same goes with dates. It's nice to show up a couple of minutes early to figure out the place and find your date if you're meeting somewhere new. Even if you're going to a familiar place, like your date's house, arriving a little early shows interest and that you care.

If you're getting late (there are some inevitable occasions where you may have an emergency to deal with), CALL! Let the person know, with as MUCH time as possible. Hopefully, they won't be stranded and waiting for you, bored.

~Sophia Sparx

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Drama King

"Drama Queen" is often a term attributed to a woman who is thought to:

a/ Crave drama
b/ Crave attention.

Women are often generalized into this category as it's often said that all women love drama.

I, however, disagree.

Some women are happy living a quiet, tranquil life. That doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy the odd pleasant surprise here and there, that just means she doesn't want to unnecessarily complicate her life.

Conversely, I've found that men love drama perhaps, just as much. Men enjoy gossip as much as women do (shh.... we won't tell or judge you), and some seek the same attention as these so called Drama Queens. Hence, I propose to you the "Drama King".

The Drama King wants to be the center of attention, whether it be with is male buddies or female acquaintances. Many people think of this male as an only child because of his need for attention, but he could also be a neglected or forgotten child (often a middle child or the "mistake" child). No matter how happy his life is, he seeks complication as he feels this makes him feel alive, important, and cared about.

Some find the Drama King's personality attractive - often, the so-called Drama Queen. So... next time you go to judge a person's "drama need", think back and think:
  • Who doesn't like a little attention from time to time?

  • Should you hate this person or feel sorry for them?

  • Lastly, is this a gender attribute? I think not...

~Sophia Sparx

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Online Dating – Not just for losers

For all of you who think online dating is for the closet nerd who sits at home on his laptop and has no time for anyone, this post’s for you. Online dating has become the norm – many couples are meeting, dating, and even getting married of relationships starting on websites. Why? Simple – time and efficiency. Who wants to spend time at a bar or “pick-up” place with the “chance” of meeting someone interested in the same things as you, when you can browse and optimize your search online. Screening becomes easy and you waste less time on potential rejects, gaining more time to search some more. With the limitless reach of the internet, you gain access to people you may have never met in your normal stream of events, opening up a whole new range of opportunities and possibilities.

For the hottest guys and gals out there, their time is precious hence why they DO participate in this online dating world. They also get approached all the time and the same goes for online so here are some tips to help you when seeking for love on the net:

1. The most important step of all is to have good pictures up on your profile. Who said attraction wasn’t important? Ask your friends for suggestions on which are your best pics and post a few. Too embarrassed about online dating (even though a lot of your friends are probably doing so)? Go to a site like “hot or not” and get some of your pictures rated. Use the ones that get the best rating of you. Offer a few pictures of yourself doing different things / in different outfits. This shows people that you’re a real person, using real pictures. Finally, don’t be too provocative in your pictures – unless of course you’re looking for a one night hook-up.

2. Your first email should be fairly short yet insightful. Make sure you read the person’s profile and indicate you have things in common with them. This shows you have taken the time to learn about them as well as puts them at ease about your connection. Humor is also appreciated and helps you stand out from the generic “you’re hot” messages.

3. “Wink”ing is for women. Take the initiative and show confidence by sending an email. If she “winks” at you and you’re interested, then go ahead and write her back.

4. Don’t be scared about asking for their phone number after chatting a few times. This will make you seem confident and your relationship will carry more connection. Don’t make the first few conversations too long – keep it light and humorous.

5. Finally, the date: Keep it in a public place, and keep the activity to a short period of time. That way, if you don’t get on, you can make a quick escape.

Good luck Guys and Gals!
~Sophia Sparx

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Do women like “cocky” men?

Sure we like confidence! A man who knows his worth is attractive to almost every woman. However, he crosses a line when he becomes arrogant. I’ve heard many men tell me that I want a man who knows what he wants, goes after it, and gets it. These same men tell me that this means that I want a “cocky” guy. Men – there is a difference between confidence and arrogance that means the difference between being seen as “masculine” and being seen as an “asshole”.

Let’s take a look at Mr. Confident and Mr. Arrogant:Mr. Confident understands that though he is good at something, there may be someone who is better. Therefore, he is constantly working to improve himself. Along the same lines, Mr. Confident is willing to recognize his mistakes. Conversely, Mr. Arrogant thinks that he is the best at something and therefore needs no improvement, never admitting a mistake. Mr. Confident displays secure behavior, never caring what others think, versus Mr. Arrogant who vies for attention and seems insecure - unattractive. Mr. Arrogant revels in the mistakes of others and seems heartless to women. Mr. Confident helps others correct their mistakes, seeming kind and compassionate to women.

Women actually find humility attractive. This doesn’t mean that women want a man who is meek and weak. We just want a guy who is human, who knows and accepts his flaws, and tries to better himself.

~Sophia Sparx

Women: What do you think of confident men? Cocky men?
Men: What do you think women want? Am I completely off base?

Successful Women

“I think men are afraid to be with a successful woman, because we are terribly strong, we know what we want and we are not fragile enough.” - Shirley Bassey

This quote brings us to the debate of today: Are men afraid of successful, powerful women? Does the typical man quiver at the thought of reversing the stereotypical relationship in which he stays at home and his woman is the "bread winner"?

I'm not in favour of grouping all men and women together in any situation but there are some things that they all share in common - a common biological structure and a common society.

The innate argument:Competition
Males are naturally competitive as vividly depicted in their love of sports. Winning is vital to them and therefore, they see a successful woman as a threat. Women, in turn, are more social beings. When a man comes to accept a successful woman as a team-mate instead of an adversary, he will be able to leverage her strengths and grow himself.

The societal argument:
Society has not fully accepted the idea of the successful woman. Even though there are many successful women and many happy men behind them, society seems to see women leaders as pushy, overly agressive, power-hungry and manly when performing the same leadership tasks as men. (Check out this article: "The Myth of the Iron Lady")

~Sophia Sparx


Guys? Agree? Disagree? Tell us what you think!
Girls? Do you have any experiences to share on this?

What about the reverse situation - what do you think about highly successful men? Are women more attracted to them?


Hi everyone and welcome!

I hope that you will enjoy my thoughts and debates on the world of dating and love, how women and men differ, and tips and tricks for my guys and gals!

And, I'm always open to hearing your thoughts so please share!

~Sophia Sparx