Can you be friends with your ex?

The big debate: The Ex. I've heard so many viewpoints on this I thought I'd share my own. Being tight with your ex can cause so many problems, it's best to keep this relationship to an acquaintance at best. You once had a strong connection - can you really move on if you still see the person all the time? Will your new gf/bf be accepting of this or be put in an awkward position? This constant reminder of the past can be quite threatening to a new partner.

Sure it’s the mature thing to be able to communicate civily, send birthday notes or inquire about their family. Sending valentines thoughts, visiting all the time, and hanging out how you used to are not acceptable. In my experience, one half of the ex-couple still has feelings for the other. They then believe that staying friends can create a chance to re-kindle that romance. These expectations should NOT be set up – you break up for a reason, unless it’s a mistake or misunderstanding and in that case, rules don’t apply. Let GO of your ex and move on! You never know what great stuff is out there!



~Sophia Sparx

The Chase – Do men really love it?

Ok , we’re all mature here, why play games? Well maybe because we all like them. They’re fun and keep us engaged and can be part of our biological make-up with respect to dating.

Most powerful women seem to approach their love life like their careers – going after what they want with whatever they can, making the first move and persisting, and pitching themselves like a product being sold to a client. This strategy works in the workplace, not in the dating world. I’ve found that the more effort the female makes, the less effort the man makes, especially at the start of a relationship. Why is this?

Biology – men are wired to be ‘hunters’, ‘aggressors’, and ‘competitors’. With this in mind, they seek challenges which they wish to win, making them the perfect pursuers. At the start of relationships, men try hard to prove themselves (ego?), but if the woman steps in to be the pursuer they become satisfied with having conquered her and relax. This results in men being turned off, they’re momentarily flattered and then lose interest very quickly, or they stop to try (which turns women off as well).

To end off, why do men like women who play hard to get? These women seem like a greater challenge and so men feel like they’ve accomplished more (hence a more worthy pursuit).

True? False? Let’s hear it!



~Sophia Sparx

One Night Stands

Controversial topic here - what do you think of one night stands? Are there certain rules to be followed?

Even when extremely intoxicated, I think it's always a good idea to make sure it's something you both are on the same page about.

- No, you're not bf/gf and therefore this doesn't mean they have to call you back or you have to do anything either
- Make sure it's something you both want to do! Confirming your partner wants to go through with it is a must
- No open mouth / French kissing... That's generally reserved for intimate moments with someone special - but this rule is optional (some people go by it, some don't so it's up to you)
- Anything kinky? Clear it with your partner first
- Don't do it where you can get caught by people who know you. Unless this is a thrill you're seeking, this can create akward moments later.

Have you had a one night stand? How did it turn out? Share it here!

~Sophia Sparx

Eating at a restaurant

So I went out for dinner yesterday and realized – WOW! There’s so much some people can learn about eating out with a date! Here’s some commentary I came up with after last night:

• When you first sit down, remove the napkin and put it on your lap – it can block the view between yourself and your date
• Make sure ladies order first unless they ask you to, so that they have more time to chose – it’s the gentlemanly thing to do
• Be nice to the waitstaff as your date may see your rudeness as potential behavior towards them
• Don’t start your food until everyone at the table has their food – this isn’t so much for dating but it’s the polite thing to do! That poor hungry person through no fault of their own shouldn’t suffer more because their food is late
• Chew slowly, with your mouth closed, and don’t make eating noises such as slurping or smacking your lips – this is just common sense but you’d be surprised how many people were doing this. Also, don’t talk while you chew – self explanatory
• No cell phones are the table unless you’re a doctor of some sorts or you need it for work –though even then, make your date the center of your attention.
• Booths: What side to sit on? Sit across your date
• Even when on diets, try to enjoy yourself and what you’re eating so the other person doesn’t feel left out or like they’re being a pig
• Offer bread to your date first before taking one yourself
• When going to the bathroom, just say excuse me – there’s no need to mention what you’re doing in there!
• Never reach to take a bit of someone’s food without being invited – that also means don’t ask!
• Ask for things to be passed to you instead of grabbing them. It can avoid some embarrassing spilling situations
• No Burping! Or Farting! EW!
Here are some good and bad first date foods:
Bad: anything with strong smells (especially garlic or onion), big sushi rolls that you can’t fit into your mouth gracefully, anything eaten with your hands like hotdogs or wings, very spicy food as you could have your stomach upset, anything too sexy haha – like popsicles, bananas, oysters, long pasta as it’s too hard to eat – like linguini or spaghetti
Good foods: deboned fish/meat, steak, sticky rice, fondue (unless you’re not a fan of sharing germs), salad, quiche, casserole, short and fat pasta, pizza (eat with cutlery)



~Sophia Sparx

Single? Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be depressing!

• Pamper yourself – with a gift or a special treat. You’re special so take the time to remind yourself!

• Go out with friends or other singles. Anti-Valentine’s parties are a lot of fun and you’re spending time with those you love anyways.

• Spend your time volunteering or babysitting. Helping people out will make you feel good and bring happiness to others, which gets shed back to you!

• Make a relationship plan – Figure out how you can improve your chances at a relationship (if you want one) you can try to have a better diet, attitude or physical appearance.

• Unless you’re in a group, avoid couple type places like restaurants, if you’re going to be alone.

• Finally, adopt a child in a third world country or a soldier and send them a Valentine’s day card  Make their day and let them love you back!



~Sophia Sparx