Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Chase – Do men really love it?

Ok , we’re all mature here, why play games? Well maybe because we all like them. They’re fun and keep us engaged and can be part of our biological make-up with respect to dating.

Most powerful women seem to approach their love life like their careers – going after what they want with whatever they can, making the first move and persisting, and pitching themselves like a product being sold to a client. This strategy works in the workplace, not in the dating world. I’ve found that the more effort the female makes, the less effort the man makes, especially at the start of a relationship. Why is this?

Biology – men are wired to be ‘hunters’, ‘aggressors’, and ‘competitors’. With this in mind, they seek challenges which they wish to win, making them the perfect pursuers. At the start of relationships, men try hard to prove themselves (ego?), but if the woman steps in to be the pursuer they become satisfied with having conquered her and relax. This results in men being turned off, they’re momentarily flattered and then lose interest very quickly, or they stop to try (which turns women off as well).

To end off, why do men like women who play hard to get? These women seem like a greater challenge and so men feel like they’ve accomplished more (hence a more worthy pursuit).

True? False? Let’s hear it!

~Sophia Sparx


Hot Alpha Female said...

Girl!! you hit the nail on the head. Can you be my new best friend now?!

I glad that there are chickadees like us who understand how it is that guys think ... to an extent .. lol

I have found out the hard way and through my research than men really do love the chase .. and it takes a women of extreme self assurance and confidence to allow him to chase her.

In a sense she has got to be the one that is vulnerable and leave it up to him to do the chasing. But of course that doesnt mean that she cant have a magnetic personality that will attract him attention in the first place

Hot Alpha Female

The Dating Game - Understand The Rules - Learn The Skills

Bugz! said...

if they don't let you chase them
why pursue them in the first place?!
the longer the chase the more intense
the sex or even making out becomes,
just as long as she doesn't make you
chase her for 5months....there are limits after all :)

UltimateAdrianPeterson said...

Testosterone is a great hormone!!!

D said...

I'm really getting tired of all the dating bullshit. It's getting superold. Nowadays people tell you to call and that guys are flattered by this. I hate to tell you, but him calling is no assurance of anything either.

Anonymous said...

Men do not love the chase.

Men love desirable women.

If a man is not pursueing you, it is because of 3 reasons:
1. He is not attracted to you
2. He is not single/available
3. He is not confident enough to approach you or indicate his interest

What woman wants a man like that?

Desirable women are not masculine and do not pursue. In the back of a man's mind, he's worrying about catching disease or worried about some other hidden undesirable trait this attractive woman possesses that is forcing her to step outside of the gender norm in order to "catch a man".

Desirable women never have to pursue. An attractive woman can stand still and silent at a bar and smile - the interested, available, and confident men will approach her.

On the flip side, an attractive woman who pursues is perceived as a slut. Only approach men if you're confortable with being a slut or dating a man who is only mildly attracted to you, taken, or insecure.

- A Confident Man Who's In Demand

Anonymous said...

I'm in my mid 30s...while I do believe you have to 'restrain' yourself and not look desperate. I am against any games that involves "men have to chase me" "I'll have to wait 3 days before I answer his calls", etc. Relationships are already hard enough..I'd rather not complicate them with dating and mind games.

IF you're already a couple and you're flirting with each other and after you know how each other think that's a different story.

Perhaps it's just that simple mindedness in me as a guy that just doesn't want to deal with games.